Today marks a year and a half of marriage for me and Dave. I wrote this post at the beginning of September, before I actually started sharing anything publicly. I wasn't planning to share it, but it's fun to revisit those thoughts from a few short months ago.
In a culture that seems to hold tight to the 50% divorce statistic, I think it's more important than ever to frame marriage in a truthful, hope-filled light. One that doesn't make marriage look like constant work or drudgery, because it's not! Is it challenging at times? Yes. Is it worth it to work through the challenges and find our way back to the joyful moments? Always yes.
In just a few more days, Dave and I will have been married for one year. A full 365 days of lawfully calling him my husband, 365 days of playfully calling him a number of much sillier names.
How do you possibly put into words the most transformative year of your life? I mean, can you?
It feels too big to prune down into so-many-hundred words. It's too important, too wonderful, too personal, too unique, too sacred.
There are many pieces and parts that make up our marriage. It's choice after choice and moment after moment that spill into the days and weeks and months that shape us and help us grow. Two imperfect humans imperfectly loving each other. There are times we get it right, sometimes we miss. But we know our marriage is a safe place, and second chances are in abundant supply in our home.
Many well-meaning married folks advised us that the first year is usually pretty difficult. Since marriage is never a one size-fits-all thing, we knew that what may have been someone else's experience wouldn't necessarily be ours.
This year has been a transition to something new and different, but it has not been a hard year.
What has a year of marriage been?
It's been the renewed joy of starting each day with my best friend. It's been Dave's endless patience and gentleness in how he speaks to me and treats me. It's been the way he comforts me no matter how small and silly my reason for being upset/hurt/cranky is. It's been the shared meals and coffees, weekends at our cabin, making big decisions together, some give and some take.
It's been laughing longer and harder with him than anyone else (and the way he gets my own lame jokes, too). It's been twice the amount of laundry and the establishing of new routines. Calling in the middle of the day just to check in. Holding hands in the car.
It's been spending entire days together and still wanting more time when they're over.
It's been wanting the very best for Dave and striving to be my very best for him, even though most days, I fail. It's been knowing there's someone in my corner to fight for me, no matter what.
It's been talking about anything and everything. Receiving forgiveness even when I don't deserve it because love keeps no record of wrongs.
It's been a miracle- that God loves us enough to give us such an amazing gift to steward and to reflect how He feels about His church.
Our marriage is simultaneously the most novel yet familiar thing in the world to me. It suits us. I just don't know how to grasp that we've punched a whole year already.
It has been the best year. Dave: I had no idea marriage would be this much fun or that it would change me in the ways that it has. I love being married to you, and I can't wait to see where God will take us in the years to come.