It's Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada, and this is what our backyard looked like yesterday when the sun came out for a minute. Driving through Corner Brook is absolutely breath-taking, as the trees are at their peak before the leaves begin to fall soon. I can't believe how awesome it is to experience fall so intensely.
If there's anyone who has been checking back to this space over the course of the year, you've likely found yourself disappointed to see that it was basically all but abandoned from its start. Perhaps one of my greatest struggles and hang ups over the past number of years is wanting to have a blog but constantly feeling the need to acknowledge and apologize for my absence when I inevitably end up not blogging. Even though I know no one actually cares enough to actually think they deserve an apology for something so silly.
I've noticed that's a tendency of mine. To apologize for something I'm self-conscious about in an effort to make sure everyone knows that I'm fully aware of my weaknesses and flaws and imperfection before they're pointed out to me.
So perhaps I can call this a full disclaimer and say that I know I'm not a very good blogger for a plethora of reasons. I tend to get caught up in worrying about how I'll be perceived by both strangers on the internet, and people who actually know me in real life. I wonder if what I share here will line up with others' perceptions of me so I just don't say anything. Or what I do say is curated, tweaked, not false but less than truthful.
Honestly, it's a tiring and fruitless way to live your life.
Perhaps instead of dwelling on lost time and opportunities, I'll save the details about my lightbulb moment for another time and choose to claim gratitude over it. Thank goodness that I'm learning this now and can take proactive steps towards decisions that I can be proud of.
So here I am! I'm blogging! It's Thanksgiving, and I just couldn't keep my gratitude to myself this year. So let's get to it, shall we?
On Friday, one of my very best friends got married. In our Pinterest culture, it's easy to think that there are certain things that make a wedding day perfect. But I can tell you that no decorations, no photo locations and no extravagant details can compete with genuine, true love on a wedding day. The love was present and tangible, and Kaylene: you are the poster child for the anti-bridezilla. I'm so, so blessed to have the gift of your friendship over so many years and to have stood next to you on Friday. No, I'm not crying, there's just some sand in my eye...
Let me try to tell you how grateful I am for this handsome man. My best friend who is relentlessly supportive and encouraging, still makes me laugh daily, who always speaks so gently and kindly to my over-sensitive soul, and loves me so well. We celebrated our two-year anniversary just over a month ago which is crazy and hard to believe because being married is somehow still exciting to me. Maybe this is a lifelong kinda feeling?
Can we please talk about how precious and adorable Judah is? I am so grateful to have been able to spend time with Jess + her hubs & bebs over the last couple weeks while they were here. I love that Jess and I will always share the same sense of home and that we can count on being back in our geographical home together through every stage of our lives. That's a gift I don't take for granted.
It's really quite something to witness the physical changes of fall as it ushers in the brightest colours that are so vivid they look almost artificial. It's such a short-lived time, I try to remind myself each day to really take it all in and allow myself to be amazed by the work of God's hand on His earth. To some effect I'm trying to do the same in my daily life with the season I'm currently in, even though sometimes it's hard to keep it all in perspective.
Rarely have I ever experienced a season that was all good or all bad. Fall is so beautiful, but we feel the temperatures dropping and the leaves start to fall, and sometimes it's hard not to focus on the impending winter that must follow. Change is constant. Sometimes hard, sometimes unpleasant. But I still believe that it's good and purposeful, and that it's important to express gratitude for every part.
So I'm thankful for the time that's set aside on Thanksgiving weekend to acknowledge that, to rest and spend time with family over turkey dinner, to reflect on the many wonderful blessings we have experienced over this past year.
I could say a lot more, but honestly, it's just nice to be here again today.